Monday, December 13, 2005
In my bedroom
06:53 AM
Yes, I didn’t know where to go…. I was just looking for an exciting adventure on my own. I never knew the place and I’ve never been there, yet I gathered all the courage I had inside me just to head on with no turning back. The first hour of my adventure was so exciting since I was like one with nature, hearing the birds chirp, which I never hear when I’m in school, feeling the wind blowing in my face, and never seeing the sun shine brightly ever since I went to college. I never had the time to relax and think of home, which was so far away. At times, I would just stare at my notes and drift away from reality. Sometimes, I would just suddenly fall in a deep sleep sitting down as if I had not slept for days. There were even times when all I could do was to watch movies or television series like “Encantadia”, “Darna”, or the most loved teleserye ng totoong buhay, “Pinoy Big Brother” without bothering to take a peek on my notes for the quiz next day.
Well, what could I say? My classmates are real geniuses. I know that. They are already touching the heavens while I’m still finding ways to even reach the stars. So what? No matter how much effort I put on reviewing my notes if my mind’s capacity could not put on more information, I really could not memorize or recall all the things I study. Sometimes, I just ask the Lord’s guidance and blessing so I could recall what I have been studying. I pray every night just to help me cope up with my studies and I’m thankful to Him since nakaraos naman ako kahit papaano sa first semester. Up to now, I’m not that bad but still I couldn’t reach my classmates. I know I have the skill, the talent, the intelligence yet I don’t know how to use them or develop them even more. However, I never forgot the saying, “If others can, why can’t I?” so I continue reaching for the stars and fulfilling my dreams.
I really do want to learn yet, whenever I sit down to concentrate in studying, I get to daydream instead. If not, I get to sleep. I do my best to study yet nothing of what I study enters my mind though I still continue the review till late in the evening. I even get up at four in the morning just to refresh my mind on last night’s review period but time runs fast. I only read two pages of my notes and Mr. Sun already peeks at my window and smiles the brightest smile he ever made. Yet, I smirk at him. Sometimes I even think he could be laughing at me. Here comes the big day. I get nervous and tensed since I don’t know what I could answer to the questions. So I either get a low score or get a high score if I was able to recall what I had studied.
All the memories of the past semester swiftly entered my mind as I continued trudging up hill. My thoughts set on what I could find at the end of the path. My thoughts were set to the future. My thoughts free from being worried for school activities or assignments whatsoever. I left those thoughts behind me. I want to relax and have fun with this adventure. Well, so here I am. In the mountains. Alone. Yeah, big deal. So what? I just kept walking and feeling the earth beneath my feet. Oh how nice it is to be strolling and adventuring… nah… just keep on going… I suddenly got thirsty yet I emptied my canteen the last time I sat down to rest. I walked on hoping to find some well somewhere if there was. Luckily, I found one nearby. Wow, the water felt cold on my throat as I scooped water from the well and drank from my hands. I never tasted water this good when I went to college. Water in the city was tasteless. And chlorinated. Ughh… I filled my canteen and continued my journey. I walked and walked and walked till my feet were tired to death yet I couldn’t find a way out of that adventure in the mountains.
I looked around me and all I saw were trees. Huge, towering trees. I felt tiredness overcome me so I sat down under an old tree with its leaves dangling from its top. Whew!!! I was exhausted. I realized I was dropping off. But I let sleep overcome me. I really was so tired I wanted to go home to my soft comfy bed with my teddy bear to hug and a blanket to keep me warm. But I was in the mountains so I made do with the warmth of nature.
I was in a deep sleep when I heard the sound of jeepneys passing by. I opened my eyes and must be dreaming. Where in the mountains could you find cars or buses?! I suddenly was brought to reality when a jeepney blew his horn so loud that I looked at the direction where it came from.
SCREEEEECHHHH…….. I came face to face with the hood of a jeep…..
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh…… I realized I was on my way to school and was crossing the street to the other side of the road. I was left unconscious…
I woke up suddenly and realized I had been dreaming. I looked at the clock. Oh no! It was 7 o’clock in the morning. I am so late for my 7:30 class since I had to travel six kilometers by jeep dodging traffic which makes my head ache. Bahala na, I thought.
Wow… So here I am suddenly awake and into reality once more. I realized I was in my bedroom, supposedly reviewing my notes (while taking a break from time to time to write this manuscript) for tomorrow's preliminary examination in Anatomy-physiology, a big heavy book on my lap with Tortora’s name (that’s one of the authors of our Anatomy and Physiology textbook) staring up at me… Whew! I thought that dream was real.
This is my life as a nursing student at Saint Louis University. Pressured as always. Tensed… nervous…. Tiring…. Let me correct that.. I meant exhausting…. Gosh, if only you could see me at school. Eyes drooping from sleep, limbs weakening from lack of sleep, body aching from head to toe. This is my life… Unfair but well, I had been through more difficult times. I had been trained never to give up when it calls for my improvement. I could make it. Though not as high as reaching the sky but high enough to reach for my dream and my future…
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