Life: A Dream Come True

Sunday, November 26, 2006

In the balcony

2:38 PM

       It was a bright sunny Sunday full of worship and praises when I started browsing my notes in preparation for the preliminary examinations for the week after next. The sun was shining brightly, but the cold of the December winds lashed against my face as I went out for a little glimpse of the outside world beyond the four walls of the apartment I was staying in. I was overwhelmed by the sight of green lush trees of the mountains of La Trinidad, Benguet—they were far to the horizon yet I could feel the coolness of their shade and the freshness of the breezes blowing against the mountainsides.

       I was inspired then to take out my notes and study outside with the picturesque view of the new morning landscape before me. I had started with my Biochemistry subject. I found I wasn’t bored as I browsed the thick handouts with words and numbers I couldn’t even start to understand. The sight before me was encouraging enough to keep me awake and alert for the review session I was doing. It took me an hour to study the subject. On and on, I had been studying. I kept turning the pages of our biochemistry textbook looking for explanations of a few computations I couldn’t solve.

       I turned another page and was surprised when the page turned out to be something else. The numbers and words were gone. I was staring at blank paper. Next thing I knew, I started jotting down notes that had nothing to do with biochemistry. I started looking back at the things I’ve done. I suddenly felt a little nostalgic. I started reminiscing about my family, relatives and friends. I kept staring at the page and then something I can’t believe happened. It felt like I was looking at a mirror.

     Here I was staring down at my own self. I was in school but it didn’t look like I’m in the classroom. It was more like looking at reflection of the past.  I was younger in the picture. I only realized it was me in high school when my best friend popped out of the picture. I saw my classmates and myself on the stage of our dear old high school, Sagada National High School. We then were getting ready for graduation. I remember that time. We had had a hectic schedule since the December of the past year and it was then March. We had been preparing for our songs and presentations and here came our final exams—the last exams we were to take in high school.

       There we were rehearsing our class song “I Believe I Can Fly” when our adviser, Sir Joseph called a halt for us to hear him out. He was about to announce the results of the examination. I was greatly surprised when he called out the top three in the whole senior year—valedictorian, salutatorian, and the first honorable mention. Daniel (a mathematics and 'technological' genius but he is not a nerd, doesn't even look like one, he's more of like... scholarly) was pinned as the first honorable mention. I then thought I wouldn’t be in the top three because I never got to beat him in quizzes.  Wilfredo (he's famously known as Biag) became our salutatorian (he was one of the mathematics geniuses in class  but also not a nerd, also scholarly and wiser than his years). I really didn't have any other choice but to feel admiration and respect for them and disappointment for myself. I knew I couldn't beat them since they have so much skills and talents and extra-curricular activities (this was then included in the computation of grades then) . I nearly fainted when the valedictorian was called. It sounded like a loud bang in my ears when my name was called. Wow!! Unbelievable!! I thought I never could make it to the top. I still could not imagine how close the points were. It was like the best days of my life just went 'POOF!' and then a strange feeling was crawling up my body. I couldn't believe what was happening then. it was like a dream come true-- a dream construed as another memory in time, another embellishment to the dreary pages of my 'book of life'. 

       So here I got to think about my college life. I never really thought about it but I found myself enrolling at Saint Louis University. I took up nursing. I never dreamed of taking up nursing. I dreamed of taking care of animals and being a pet enthusiast in the future. I dreamed of being able to help other pets through the services I could offer as a professional veterinarian. My decision changed during the summer before my junior year in high school as I saw my father, then battling cancer in his deathbed-- the pain, the despair, the hollowness in his soul, the surrender. It was more than I could bear. I once turned my back and rushed outside the hospital just to get away from the outburst of emotions emanating from his face and words. I saw my father die in my arms as my mother shed her incessant tears, the essence of grief running down twin springs of sorrow. I decided at that time to become a nurse. I knew I could not bring my father back through becoming one but then I thought I could bring back the memories and kindness of my father through helping other people live. At that point in time, I know my father and his memories was still alive in me. And he still is. From that point on, he had been helping me endure everything in life-- the remaining days of my high school life and the whole of my college life up until now.

       My first year in college was the best. I could never ask more of it. The friends, the instructors, the atmosphere, it was more than I could ask for. They were all great despite the dreaded quota after our sophomore year.

       Our sophomore year was very hectic and pressuring due to competition and the thought of passing that dreaded quota. Grades turned out to be fatal. Projects turned out to be a mess and the worst of the lot, our physics subject never gave us the chance to study other subjects. For goodness sake, our grades turned out to be just passing throughout the school year.

       The school year rapidly ended as we waited for our names in the list of those who shall get a chance to continue their studies at SLU. I was so nervous that I clung to a friend for support as we approached the bulletin board. I first took a detour to the comfort room to first wash up and calm my self. I was just about to step out of the CR when my friend came crashing in. she would have bumped into the concrete wall if I hadn’t held her still. Even with me holding her, she was jumping up and down. I already knew she had a glance at the list. She looked as if she was an angel when she gave me the news. I just stood there like a post when she added I was in the list too. Oh my God, I thought. Once again a dream came true. I could now be the nurse I always dreamed of becoming. I was still rooted to the spot there in the doorway of the CR when someone called out, “Excuse me. mensese-at ka sinan daan (Excuse me. You’re blocking the way).”  It was a faraway voice. Seems like it was from a dream I was in. It was a familiar voice and I heard it call again.

       Then and there did I get back to reality. I was there in our balcony, staring at the first page of my biochemistry textbook. I glanced at where the voice came from. It was my sister home from class practice. Gosh! Had I been dreaming that long? It was already 10 o’clock in the morning and I started browsing my notes at 9:30 today. Whew! What a way to start the day!